Baby and Bump Obsession Articles
It warms my degenerate heart to see Little Sci tentatively reaching out to someone her own age. Because it would suck to have to hang out with Sci people your entire life. But away from Daddy’s watchful Xenu eyes, Little Sci seems to be expanding her horizons. She’s with mom Katie Holmes in New York shooting a movie called The Romantics. Full Story
What else is there to look at? Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry arrived back in LA yesterday from New York with baby Nahla, all 3 colour coordinated, all 3 styled perfectly, all 3 ridiculously beautiful, reminding us what ordinary really means. Ordinary is anything that is not them. This is absurd. Please stop coming out in public. Full Story
The Beckhams were courtside at the Laker game the other night. As you can see, Posh is trying out some soft waves on her growing bob. Looks good. Really good. She was very pretty that night. Would have been prettier if she’d let herself smile. But of course not. There were too many cameras around. Full Story
Same as your baby son whose first name is Henry. Henry Tadeusz, as announced today by your spokesperson, born on October 7. October 7 is also the birthday of my Polish father-in-law. His name is Stanislaw. It’s like we’re having a Polish party together. Full Story
That word explains everything. Per the Paul Haggis revelations mentioned in today’s open, “disconnect” is a Scientology policy that refers to the action taken against those who do not share the Xenu love. Haggis’s wife was ordered to “disconnect” from her family when they broke from the Church. Full Story
Taupe must have been tired of those photos of him with the others, of Ben looking happy with everyone else but her. Photo Assumption can be a very powerful game. And celebrities use it to their advantages too. So this is the family Affleck today on set in Boston. Jennifer Garner brought the girls to see daddy on break, and daddy’s face lit up. Full Story
Nicole Richie will be skinny again soon enough. But it’s good to see she’s not in too much of a rush. Sparrow Madden was born about 6 weeks ago. Some bitches in Hollywood are back to concave stomachs after a fortnight. Nicole seems to be taking her time. Here she is last night at the Noble Humanitarian Awards with a fuller figure than we’re used to seeing from her. Full Story
I called it an eyebrow archer the other day. And indeed, The Daily Mail once again sucks sh-t, instilling us first with false hope, and then replacing it with disappointment. The other day, the paper reported that Katie Holmes and Jesus had triumphed over Xenu and the GMD and that Little Sci was enrolled at a Catholic pre-school in Boston. Full Story
The GMD's 2 oldest are currently being educated in the ways of the Xenu. It was expected then that his youngest, future leader of the Free Thetans, would be similarly indoctrinated even though Katie Holmes was raised Catholic. After all, they were married according to Scientological scripture. Surprisingly however, if The Daily Mail... Full Story
Look judgy moms! She’s walking again! Little Sci spent the afternoon in Boston yesterday with her mom and grandma and she even ventured out on foot. This is important because many of you have been writing about the fact that she’s always being carried around in photographs. As you can see, Little Sci can indeed amble around on her own. Full Story
Last night, Hamlet’s official debut in New York, it was a triumphant evening for Jude Law whose performance is generating wonderful reviews from critics and fans. Here he is on stage accepting his ovation and then at the afterparty, relieved and ready to throw a few back. Full Story
Busy weekend for the GMD and Katie Holmes in Boston. Family time with Little Sci and Connor and a kiss for the camera too. You judgy moms are always writing about Little Sci never walking so I’ve included a few shots of her on foot. In all fairness to them, it’s easier to carry her and let the paps get their shots and move away quicker than letting her go on foot on her own. Full Story
“Thanks God” it happened on a weekend. Because if it had been a weekday they would have crippled the stock market. Did you hear, did you hear, did you hear? The Twins, they came out to bless the world, and the Brangelunatics they wept with gratitude. Full Story
Manly mans. The GMD continues to shoot Wichita with Cameron Diaz in Boston. After a brief trip away, Katie Holmes is back on set at his side with Little Sc. I like the shot of her jumping around in the trailer, and also the one of Cam trying to make her laugh. Rare glimpses of Suri’s personality. Full Story
Written by Jacek Angelina took Maddox grocery shopping today in France, stopping to sign some autographs outside the store. The full-length black bed sheet made another appearance. I think it’s getting to the point where she has only two looks. Her “going grocery and/or toy shopping” outfit, which is basically the same each time as pictured here, and whatever she might wear for a red carpet or premiere. Full Story
Am not complaining about seeing adorable photos of Hugh Jackman with his wife and children at the pumpkin patch. Not at all. Am complaining however about how early the Halloween decorations go up. Last week I saw them everywhere: witch masks at the drug store, haunted house displays at the grocery, and it’s not even October. Full Story
Brad Pitt turned up in Spain for the San Sebastian Film Festival, then in New York last week for the Clinton Global Initiative and while Angelina took Pax, Miss Zahara, and The Chosen One toy shopping... Full Story
Just received an email from Gigi who quit smoking a month ago:It's a bad day at the office and I keep thinking about what I would love to replace my ciggies with instead of food. And all I can think is HUGH JACKMAN . . . <sigh> Can I get some Hugh today in celebration of my one month without smokes? Of course. Full Story
New fairy tale? No. It’s the Brange girls. Pax and his mother accompanied Miss Zahara and The Chosen One to Toys R Us in France. New photos of a smiling Angelina and her adorable children are driving down productivity among Brangelunatics today as they’ve collectively fallen on the ground to await orders from Shiloh’s holy sword. Full Story
In Boston shooting Wichita. The GMD actually has good hair right now. I like it. It’s, um, the chest area that poses a problem. Here he is on set with Cameron Diaz filming what looks like a testy scene. And then a visit with his wife and daughter before the two of them boarded a private jet – Katie and Little Sci off on their own. Full Story
