Douchebags Articles
Look who can’t handle aging. Billy Bob Thornton coloured his hair. And it’s all flopsy around his forehead too. Like that’ll hide his douche. Please. Nothing can hide his douche. Remember when BBT got all pissy faced on CBC Radio Q with Jian Ghomeshi... Full Story
Keep begging you piece of sh-t. Chris Brown beat down his girlfriend last year. Then he went jetskiing. And he went to basketball games. And he only reported for community service because he was ordered to. And he spends more time partying with Diddy and shooting music videos than reaching out to those who’ve suffered unspeakable abuse. Full Story
No idea at the time what the f-ck was coming out of Sean Penn’s mouth when he presented Best Actress at the Oscars on Sunday. The online community however has analysed the footage and determined he must have been referring to Robin Wright – his omission of her during his acceptance speech last year, and the Academy overlooking her performance in Pippa Lee. Full Story
It’s Fashion Week. And at the Calvin Klein show yesterday, four douches tryharded in the front row, creating a collective air of desperation that blanketed the clothes. Let’s start from right to left. It’s Jared Leto, big ass poseur hair, pretending people still want to make movies with him. Full Story
John Mayer tweeted at New Year’s that he’d be taking some time to reflect, to cut off his Twitter musings, to try and tame his famewhore. That worked for about a week. Then he spoke to Rolling Stone and extolled the virtues of masturbation, revealing that he jerks off to his ex girlfriends all the time. Full Story
Best. Interview. EVER. Sure, he’s a vile pig. We’re at rehearsal right now for Olympic Morning, and I am laughing my ass off. Not because that mother-cker isn’t a sick bitch, but because it’s just another case of douche spew coming out of his mouth. Who else can entertain this way? Every time he speaks it’s gold. Full Story
Taylor Swift is touring Australia. John Mayer, in yet another cryptic tweet, posted on his Twitter a while ago that he’s missing someone. What's that song that goes "It's a quarter after one, I just huffed a can of ceiling paint and I need you now?" I like that one. Full Story
Jared Leto showed up at a Calvin Klein event last night trying to resurrect his acting career with his hair… I guess. For someone like Robert Pattinson and the hair hysteria that exploded ovaries in tandem with his meteoric rise, it worked in that case because it seemed genuine. He just has messy hair. Full Story
It was taped last night. Third Lip was not seen. There was room for only one ego in the joint, it belonged to John Mayer. One source described it as follows: “he’s a rambling douche”. And his self-indulgent f-ckery wasn’t well received. Here’s an incident that sums it up: The musicians had plenty of opportunity to prep. Full Story
Last night John Mayer was in Nashville for the Crossroads taping with Keith Urban. More on how that went down later. Taylor Swift attended amid speculation that she and Mayer are now dating. My sources tell me she was backstage before the show, totally crushing on him, very "smitten", flirting, like a young girl intoxicated by attraction to an older man, too young to separate artistry from douchery. Full Story
Remember Taupe Garner’s interview with Parade? When she revealed that Ben Affleck courted her via email? Well, Ben was at Sundance the other day promoting The Company Men and was asked about Garner’s quote at which point he turned into a sulky little bitch and basically embarrassed his wife on television, not so subtly admonishing her for revealing their romantic secrets. Full Story
Spittle Gerard Butler clearly can’t follow instruction. All he has to do is pretend to be dating Jennifer Aniston until after their movie comes out. It’s only 2 months. But 2 months is too long. Especially for a pig like Gerry. Gerry likes to paw at people randomly. And he did so this weekend in Venice Beach. Full Story
In his mind. When he jerks off. These are his go-to girls. For reals. And he admits it. To Rolling Stone. Have you heard? Here’s the thing... before we cut him down... I’ll take a John Mayer interview before a bland, boring, generic, cookie cutter interview any time. Like Jessica Biel in Vogue. Full Story
She has spent the last 5 years trying to be known as something other than the TV Girl and the ex Mrs Pitt. Bless Ricky Gervais for introducing her as Rachel from Friends. BLESS HIM SO HARD. Oh and she felt it. Right up the slit in her leg she felt it. Jennifer Aniston wore another black dress, this time with mismatched breasts and a lot of thigh. Full Story
He’s an artist. And the thing about an artist like John Mayer, one of the most pretentious artists in the business, is that he truly believes that his sh-t is the greatest sh-t of all time. That his mind is the most unique, most original, that his thoughts are the most enlightening and profound. Full Story
Jessica Simpson went out with friends last night and cranked up the full Porny. For those of you who are new to the site, now you know why that’s her name. Porny. She can’t help but look Porny. Not with those breasts. Jesus, those breasts. It’s obscene. How does it breathe? You could put a tv dinner tray on her rack and it wouldn’t move. Full Story
You can’t clean a douche. Does that make sense? In reference to John Mayer...yes. John announced at New Year’s on his Twitter that he was taking a break from being a dick. So you’ve heard about his pathetic stand up comedy attempts, right? Click here... Full Story
Remember True Blood last season when Sookie dreamt about being in bed with Eric and they were sex talking and she was all like, I know you’re not an asshole through and through and he answered something to the effect that his soft side was “only for Sookie”? Well isn’t this is the Only For Sookie look? Hot. Full Story
Robert Pattinson was hanging out with Emile Hirsch in Cannes. We were there that night at the Du Cap when they arrived and, for Laura, I endured two hours of his bullsh-t before I made her leave. Because I could no longer stand Emile Hirsch’s groundbreaking Ph.D dissertation on filmmaking. Click here... Full Story
It’s expired. You can’t possibly use Dear Frankie anymore as a quiveration rationalisation for Gerard Butler. Or Phantom of the Opera, and he was gross in that anyway. As for his boorish grunting in 300 – that’s done too. At least the body is. So let’s recap shall we? Gerry has no real discernable talents. Full Story
