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Parent Pimps Articles

Lohan public humiliation

It’s a good start to the week! Because any time anyone makes Dina Lohan look like a f&cking idiot, even more so than usual, there’s cause for celebration. So last week, an item appeared in Page Six... Full Story

Dina and Ali Lohan publicly rejected and humiliated by Johnny Wright

Posted on Monday, October 06, 2008 at 7:34 AM

Kiki and Natalie

Kirsten Dunst is currently promoting How to Lose Friends and Alienate People. During junket interviews the other day, she was asked about her time in rehab earlier this year and how she’s changed: "Everybody in life goes through obstacles in different times of their life, and this year was my difficult time. Full Story

Kirsten Dunst looks up to Natalie Portman Kirsten Dunst looks up to Natalie Portman

Posted on Saturday, October 04, 2008 at 8:33 AM

JailBait Ingrate

Suppose this shouldn’t be a surprise… after all, Billy Ray Cyrus is a parent pimp, whoring his kid out to Disney to sustain the acid wash lifestyle he’d been accustomed to after his one hit wonder. Why then should he be expected to instill in his child commodity the value of hard worth and work ethic? Contracts are signed to be broken, right? TMZ ... Full Story

Miley Cyrus and Billy Ray Cyrus try to get out of Disney contract and want to quit Hannah Montana

Posted on Monday, September 22, 2008 at 8:17 AM

Chicken Fried Mamma TV

Lynne Spears appeared on The Today Show this morning to promote that book - the one in which she reveals “a mother’s heartbreak” watching Britney deal with the pleasures and the peril of fame. Of course, as you would expect, they softballed her the entire time. No tough questions, no challenges, just straight up pandering for almost 10 minutes. Full Story

Lynne Spears tells Meredith Viera she did not push Britney Spears into showbiz Lynne Spears tells Meredith Viera she did not push Britney Spears into showbiz Lynne Spears tells Meredith Viera she did not push Britney Spears into showbiz Lynne Spears tells Meredith Viera she did not push Britney Spears into showbiz

Posted on Wednesday, September 17, 2008 at 8:42 AM

The Parent Pimp Handbook

As you know, Lynne Spears wrote a tell-all complete with juicy details on Britney’s plummet called Through The Storm: A Real Tale Of Fame And Family In A Tabloid World. Details from her memoirs have now been leaked – nothing that would shock you, all things considered, except the tragic reality that her recollections won’t serve as a valid explanation so much as a roadmap for every other exploitative parent out there who thinks she has a Britney/Miley enrolled in pre-school. Full Story

Lynne Spears memoirs leaked

Posted on Thursday, September 04, 2008 at 9:20 AM

Blame the police

Everyone’s a victim, see? Especially if it’s a child star with two parent pimps. In her first interview since her father was arrested for allegedly beating down her mother, Hayden Panettiere told Extra last week... Full Story

Hayden Panettiere at Trump Dubai event says her father did not abuse her mother and blames police for the drama Hayden Panettiere at Trump Dubai event says her father did not abuse her mother and blames police for the drama Hayden Panettiere at Trump Dubai event says her father did not abuse her mother and blames police for the drama Hayden Panettiere at Trump Dubai event says her father did not abuse her mother and blames police for the drama

Posted on Monday, August 25, 2008 at 8:36 AM

Who needs Debbie Phelps?

For someone like Dina Lohan, befriending Ann Dexter-Jones yields many more benefits. After all, Ann has an established place on the New York social circle, far from the fake nails and mall hair Long Island pond that Dina calls her kingdom. Ann entertains the likes of Al Pacino and David Bowie at her legendary dinner parties. Full Story

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson go out for dinner in New York with their moms Dina Lohan and Ann Dexter-Jones Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson go out for dinner in New York with their moms Dina Lohan and Ann Dexter-Jones Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson go out for dinner in New York with their moms Dina Lohan and Ann Dexter-Jones Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson go out for dinner in New York with their moms Dina Lohan and Ann Dexter-Jones Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson go out for dinner in New York with their moms Dina Lohan and Ann Dexter-Jones Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson go out for dinner in New York with their moms Dina Lohan and Ann Dexter-Jones Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson go out for dinner in New York with their moms Dina Lohan and Ann Dexter-Jones Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson go out for dinner in New York with their moms Dina Lohan and Ann Dexter-Jones

Posted on Monday, August 25, 2008 at 6:49 AM

Jailbait Cheapass

Jailbait Miley Cyrus is turning 16 soon. She will be celebrating at – where else? – Disneyland and she is inviting a “limited number” of her fans to join her. http://www.usmagazine.com/news/miley-cyrus-selling-tickets-to-sweet-sixteen The price? Only $250. Jailbait is becoming a global brand. Full Story

Miley Cyrus to charge $250 for fans to join her birthday at Disneyland

Posted on Thursday, August 21, 2008 at 1:15 PM

Cage Match: Dina Lohan vs Debbie Phelps

Back in 2004 when she was still cute and not yet anorexic or a junkie but well on her way, Michael Phelps was asked about a celebrity crush. He answered Lindsay Lohan. These days, his celebrity crush is Cameron Diaz. Unfortunately, Lilo won’t let him go. Lilo was texting Billy Bush (???) the other day during Access Hollywood’s interview with Michael’s mom Debbie Phelps. Full Story

Debbie Phelps horrified that Lindsay Lohan wants to meet Michael Phelps Debbie Phelps horrified that Lindsay Lohan wants to meet Michael Phelps

Posted on Wednesday, August 20, 2008 at 8:51 AM

Defending Dina

Us Weekly put up 2 shots of Ali Lohan on its site yesterday suggesting some implant action. Surrounded by paps in the afternoon, Lindsay Lohan was asked whether or not her old hag of a younger sister had her tits done. Full Story

Lindsay Lohan slams reports that Ali Lohan got a boob job

Posted on Thursday, August 14, 2008 at 7:49 AM

There’s a Lohan in everyone

The parents of child stars, see? Many of you insist that Hayden Panettiere won’t be like Lilo. Please. She was pimped as a child by her parents – what are the chances? TMZ.com broke the story this morning – Hayden’s dad was arrested last night for beating down her mom. Apparently he flew into a jealous rage about her flirting with some dude at a party and hit her across the cheek. Full Story

Hayden Panettiere`s father Alan arrested for abusing her mother Lesley Hayden Panettiere`s father Alan arrested for abusing her mother Lesley Hayden Panettiere`s father Alan arrested for abusing her mother Lesley Hayden Panettiere`s father Alan arrested for abusing her mother Lesley

Posted on Monday, August 11, 2008 at 7:41 AM

The Royal Ronsons

LOVE this shoot. Harper’s Bazaar, the latest issue features the Ronsons in an homage to the Royal Tenenbaums. SamRo as my Gwyneth! Mark, Charlotte, and Samantha grew up glamourous. Famous houseguests and famous connections – WAY more famous than the Lohans from Long Island. In fact, rolling with the Ronsons actually enhances Lilo’s resume more than Sam’s. Full Story

Royal Ronsons Harper`s Bazaar Royal Ronsons Harper`s Bazaar Royal Ronsons Harper`s Bazaar

Posted on Monday, August 11, 2008 at 7:15 AM

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Dear Gossips,

The Silver Fox spoke the truth yesterday when he basically called Ali Lohan an old hag and an aspiring stripper. The comment was of course directed at her mother, that all class pimp Dina Lohan who continues to deprive her children of a real life.

In typical Dina Lohan fashion, instead of actually considering the true meaning behind them, she took Anderson Cooper’s comments and turned her daughter into a victim – her favourite move. Speaking exclusively to OK! Magazine Dina wailed: “People are just cruel! This is bad karma for him."

Dina Lohan believes in bad karma? I’ll take a piece of that. What are the karmic ramifications for a parent pimp?

Wednesday – online all day, remember to refresh.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Mel B and her creepy husband are not having issues with the bills. Also not the ungrateful Princess of AssTalk.

The Silver Fox hates hags

Anderson Cooper and Tom Ford. Together. Can you imagine? Sigh. Gay men are so evolved. Especially the ones who are ready and willing to cut a bitch down. Of course you’d expect this from Tom…but from the Silver Fox too? Please. He’s the son of Gloria Vanderbilt. And he was temping for Regis on Regis & Kelly this morning. Full Story

Anderson Cooper calls Ali Lohan a 60 year old Anderson Cooper calls Ali Lohan a 60 year old

Posted on Tuesday, August 05, 2008 at 8:12 AM

No Hags in the Sisterhood

Ali and Dina Lohan managed to scam their way into the Sisterhood 2 premiere the other night. Their show is sucking ass…they needed the publicity. Who the f&ck are those morons are wanting Ali’s autograph??? I want you to look at that child’s French manicure. Those long ass clip-on claws. Full Story

Ali Lohan at the NY premiere of the Sisterhood at the Travelling Pants 2 Ali Lohan at the NY premiere of the Sisterhood at the Travelling Pants 2 Ali Lohan at the NY premiere of the Sisterhood at the Travelling Pants 2

Posted on Wednesday, July 30, 2008 at 11:20 AM

Shia: Adrian’s girl, drunk with dad, and pick-ups

Turns out Shia LaBeouf’s passenger the night he tried to commit vehicular homicide was Isabel Lucas, girlfriend of Adrian Grenier, who was supposedly “testy”... Full Story

Shia Details cover Man truck Isabel Lucas

Posted on Tuesday, July 29, 2008 at 7:01 AM

Two Old Hags

Dylan said to me the other day that it’s scary being a single straight dude these days: “I keep givin’ the business to, like, 16 year olds.” He means with his eyes. He keeps eyef7cking the underage ones, thinking they’re legal, only to find out he was 5 minutes away from committing a crime. Full Story

Ali Lohan shows off growing breasts Ali Lohan shows off growing breasts Ali Lohan shows off growing breasts Ali Lohan shows off growing breasts

Posted on Monday, July 28, 2008 at 7:44 AM

Little McBongo JKL

OK! Magazine reportedly paid $3 million for the first photos of little Levi McBongo, first son of Matthew McConaughey and his girlfriend Camila Alves. As I said last week about it being a waste of money – again another newborn that looks exactly like all newborns. Full Story

OK Magazine pays $3 million for first pictures of Matthew McConaughey's son

Posted on Wednesday, July 23, 2008 at 8:25 AM

Mama Pimp on the town

Last night was the perfect night for Dina Lohan. Trading on one child to pimp the other, getting photographed and partying her tits off – the most ideal of situations. This is Dina in New York at the Sephora 10th anniversary celebration with son Michael Lohan who must be her Plan C. When Ali Lohan goes off to rehab or gets pregnant, Michael will step up to support his mother. Full Story

Dina Lohan pimps another child at Sephora anniversary Dina Lohan pimps another child at Sephora anniversary Dina Lohan pimps another child at Sephora anniversary Dina Lohan pimps another child at Sephora anniversary Dina Lohan pimps another child at Sephora anniversary

Posted on Friday, July 18, 2008 at 7:05 AM

Meet Honor

OK! Magazine  paid $1.5 for the first exclusive rights to the Alba Bitch’s baby and follow up photos later on. So here’s Jessica with Honor on the cover of the new issue. No offence to all you moms out there but really, this baby obsession is out of control. Full Story

Jessica Alba with newborn daughter on the cover of OK Magazine

Posted on Wednesday, July 16, 2008 at 7:18 AM