Smutty Surgery Articles
At the New York City Police Foundation Gala last night – Basic Instinct was reunited. Sharon Stone and Michael Douglas and, as you can see, one is holding up better than the other. Bet you he’s had more work done than she. Fair enough, he is older. But her face... it’s f-cking marvellous, non? This Hot Bitch, I don’t care what she’s had done, whatever it is it’s keeping her a Hot Bitch. Full Story
Is really one of the hottest bitches ever. Here’s Sharon Stone on the set of Law & Order SVU. Sure, despite her denials, there’s been some work. But the work is good. The work is not Madonna. Sharon has crows’ feet and lines on her face. Sharon’s lips aren’t taking over her face. Full Story
Kate Winslet presented to Colin Firth last night at the BAFTAs. Since I posted about her last week, many of you wrote to question whether or not she’s had something done. You see a difference in her face. Is it her eyes? I agree – there’s a certain Madonna quality to her right now though obviously not horrifying. Full Story
So she’s investing in some kind of magic water from Brazil that promises eternal youth. It’s called Vita Coco, aptly named because it’s mixed with coconut milk. Please. You know where this is going. Michael K will be all over this Fountain of Spunk if he isn’t already. Full Story
Meg Ryan is only 3 years older than Sandra Bullock. Only. And yet... This is Meg today at the opening ceremony for Istanbul Fashion Week. It’s like she’s 70 and wearing a wig. This face, those lips, that chin... remember how cute she used to be? I’ve attached a photo for comparison. Full Story
How many times did they pan to her last night? Are they aware of her box office record the last 5 years? Because cutting to Nicole Kidman’s Third Lip will not help ratings. It did however satisfy our Third Lip needs. Third Lip was super extra fat this weekend. Probably a pre-Oscar 6 week treatment. Full Story
The worse it gets? That would seem to be the case for Madonna. Without the lighting and the makeup and the retouching, Madonna is not what you see in the Dolce & Gabbana ads. The issue is not that we age. The issue is that she’s fighting that bitch with every dollar, with every vein, with every needle… And the result is this – candid shots of Madonna out for dinner last night in London and then catching a flight today back to New York. Full Story
She looked good, y’all, she did. She looked immobilised in the face, sure, but compared to how she’s been lately, she did look good. With her hair loose and wavy, wearing a beautifully ornate Oscar de la Renta, Granny was almost fresh. Like fresh out the freezer. So much better ginger red than she is as a blonde. Full Story
Tara Reid’s rep has confirmed to People.com that she is engaged. His name is Michael Axtmann. He proposed over dinner at The Little Door in Hollywood. According to her publicist: "Michael surprised Tara with a beautiful round brilliant cut ring. Full Story
Seems impossible but Third Lip Nicole Kidman seemed downright demure in size and paralysis next to Courteney Cox’s. Did you watch any of CC’s interviews on the carpet? That sh-t is rigid. And it makes for the strangest effect when she speaks. Like she’s trying to push it out the way. Full Story
Third Lip will take the stage at the Beverly Hilton next next Sunday for the Golden Globe Awards as Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman has been confirmed as a presenter, likely in support of Nine which is up for 5 awards, including acting nods for Marion Cotillard, Penelope Cruz, and DDL. She herself has not been recognised. Full Story
In fairness to Madonna, she’s got a decade on Nicole Kidman. Still…the sight of these two on the same carpet last night at the New York premiere of Nine must have been a plastic surgeon’s erection. What? But Granny Kidman doesn’t f-ck around with her face. That’s what she tells magazines. Full Story
I can’t decide. You decide. It’s Meg Ryan in New York promoting her new film Serious Moonlight first on Regis & Kelly and then at the premiere with director Cheryl Hines and Justin Long. From some angles the work isn’t so scary. From other angles, the work is very, very scary. I loved Meg Ryan. Full Story
Third Lip was painted red yesterday at the London premiere of Nine. Third Lip looks smaller in red, non? Or is that because the teeth are now so big? Many of you have written to remark on Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman’s teeth. Do they seem enlarged? Veneers? Poor Third Lip. She’s always fighting something. Full Story
Nine premiere is tonight. Third Lip, Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman, and Keith Urban flew in today for the event. Third Lip loves it in London. The press is always way up her ass there. Actually, the press is always way up her ass everywhere. You know she’s super tight with Rupert Murdoch, right? Just making sure. Full Story
As you know, I’m obsessed with it. Like, I can’t get enough of Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman’s Third Lip. It has its own personality now. Third Lip is now a proper name. And Third Lip accompanied Gran to the CMAs on Wednesday, evidently freshly plumped, fattened up for Nine promotion, prompting Page Six... Full Story
There was a party in New York last night to celebrate the launch of Valentino: the Last Emperor on DVD. Gwyneth Paltrow is a major Valentino supporter. She was in New York for sure at the weekend trick or treating with her kids in the Hamptons. But amid the cheating allegations – Chris Martin and that slag Kate Bosworth – Gwyneth is hiding out, laying low. Full Story
For reals. Tight ass Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman claims she’s sexually adventurous and naturally curious and has experienced it all – from the pedestrian to the most mundane and back again. Because she’s such a free spirit. That’s the story she’s selling in British GQ. She also used her own wax figure to pose on the cover of the magazine Must have been a bloat day. Full Story
Between these two. And while Emmy Rossum is a Why Is if there ever was a Why Is, Demi was an It at the beginning and continues to be now, if for no other reason than her seemingly eternal beauty. I spoke to Demi briefly at TIFF. I have seen this up close. Full Story
If it were possible, I wonder if Granny Freeze would take care of that too. Then she’d never be caught by cameras looking like this. Which is less than perfect. And less than perfect isn’t good enough. Only completely immobilised and creaseless is good enough. But let’s not fault Gran for seeming tired. Full Story
