Smutty Surgery Articles
As you know, I’m obsessed with it. Like, I can’t get enough of Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman’s Third Lip. It has its own personality now. Third Lip is now a proper name. And Third Lip accompanied Gran to the CMAs on Wednesday, evidently freshly plumped, fattened up for Nine promotion, prompting Page Six... Full Story
There was a party in New York last night to celebrate the launch of Valentino: the Last Emperor on DVD. Gwyneth Paltrow is a major Valentino supporter. She was in New York for sure at the weekend trick or treating with her kids in the Hamptons. But amid the cheating allegations – Chris Martin and that slag Kate Bosworth – Gwyneth is hiding out, laying low. Full Story
For reals. Tight ass Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman claims she’s sexually adventurous and naturally curious and has experienced it all – from the pedestrian to the most mundane and back again. Because she’s such a free spirit. That’s the story she’s selling in British GQ. She also used her own wax figure to pose on the cover of the magazine Must have been a bloat day. Full Story
Between these two. And while Emmy Rossum is a Why Is if there ever was a Why Is, Demi was an It at the beginning and continues to be now, if for no other reason than her seemingly eternal beauty. I spoke to Demi briefly at TIFF. I have seen this up close. Full Story
If it were possible, I wonder if Granny Freeze would take care of that too. Then she’d never be caught by cameras looking like this. Which is less than perfect. And less than perfect isn’t good enough. Only completely immobilised and creaseless is good enough. But let’s not fault Gran for seeming tired. Full Story
Laura just sent me an email: Did you see the new Meg Ryan trailer? The one where she duct tapes her man to a toilet? Unfortunately you don’t really notice the plot because you’re too busy staring at her mangled face. So of course I had to look for it. And no, Laura wasn’t wrong. It’s the preview for Serious Moonlight. Full Story
Is it the first? The first time they’ve posed together? I think so, yes? Emily Blunt and John Krasinski last night at the Annual Women in Hollywood Tribute sponsored by Elle. How f-cking cute? SnapFace thinks he’s cute too. They worked together on Leatherheads, she was all over him like so happy to see you, friend, and hopefully he told his friend to eat something soon. Full Story
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher showed up at the 2009 Freedom Awards last night in LA. Like, what the f-ck Demi? It’s not fair for the rest of us. See now I’ve been up close to this. I’ve looked at it in person. In person it’s not scary, it’s not grotesque, it’s not unnatural… It’s ridiculous, yes, but also pretty real. Full Story
Granny Freeze is the official spokesperson for Omega. So here’s Nicole Kidman at the Omega event last night in New York, a striking figure in black, with an Omega appropriate Stepford hairpiece attached to the back of her head. Amazingly enough, Gran’s third lip appears to have tucked itself back under (mostly) her other lips. Full Story
Have great chemistry. It’s a sexy tension, it crackles, not uncomfortably, and the result is compelling television, even if her face is a little scary now. Because more and more, up close especially and without the sunglasses, she’s starting not to look like herself…right? Anyway, during the interview they discuss the breakdown of her marriage and leaving England and Madge says she’d rather be “hit by a train” than marry again. Full Story
My BFF Alan W wrote the other day that he thought Madonna looked good at the VMAs. That her face had fallen some, more relaxed, less taut. But that doesn’t mean she didn’t look like Faye Dunaway. Truth: when I first saw photos of Faye Dunaway at the VMAs I thought she was Madonna. Full Story
Need to suppress your appetite? This will help. Someone sent me a photo yesterday of Tori Spelling and her f-cked up tits at fashion week in New York. I quickly pushed away my plate of fries. Fake tits, too skinny resulting in too much extra skin, and a face that a golddigging piece of sh-t called “the most beautiful in the world”. Full Story
Well… At least she’s not denying it. Victoria Beckham appears on the cover of October issue of Elle Magazine. Horrid photo – click here for a refresher. New pages from inside have just been released – see them here... Full Story
From the side. You’ve seen it straight on. You’ve seen Granny’s engorged mouth flaps from the front. But how about the side view? The side view offers new angles. New appreciation for the pillowy plumpness of Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman’s “totally natural” lips. So natural she has three of them. Full Story
Watching the US Open? I’ll say it off the top, we can argue about it later: I am on Team Rafa. Federer is amazing, obviously, but we like who we like. And I like Nadal much more. Also, the monogrammed everything is so lame. Second to Rafa, definitely Djokovic, and after that anyone but Andy Roddick. Full Story
She’s cranked up all over New York this week, surrounded by sycophants, spending her days shopping, her nights trying to be seen. You’ll note – she was not at The September Issue premiere last night. Please. Like Anna Wintour would have allowed it. Instead, Lindsay Lohan decided to show off her new lips. Full Story
This is what it looks like. Madonna turned 51 yesterday, celebrated at a dinner party in Portofino seated beside her petting toy Jesus Luz. In the soft candlelight, and having chilled out a little on the face work, Madge easily, from this blurry pap distance, looks 10 years younger. Does Jesus ever smile? For some reason this sentence made me laugh. Full Story
This is an I Hate People article. It will make you angry and punchy. You have been warned. Lisa Rinna “wrote” a book. It’s called Rinnavation: Getting Your Best Life Ever. Really? Her????? Yes. Her. Lisa Rinna can help you improve your life. Please. She was at a signing yesterday and showed off all six of her lips. Full Story
Once upon a time, when Diddy was still important, his white parties were legendary. An invitation was hard to come by. These days? At a Diddy White Party? Not so exclusive. This weekend, with one or two exceptions, his guest list consisted of mostly has-beens and reality stars. Like Tara Reid. And Tila Tequila. Full Story
Last night at the American Idol final – Keith Urban performed. I’m here in Cannes, didn’t watch, but going from these photos… is there something new about his face? Did Granny Freeze buy him some fillers? Look at that. That is fresh and new and definitely de-lined, non? Or maybe it’s that he’s too orange. Full Story
