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Smutty Surgery Articles

This Hot Bitch reunites with That Old Man

At the New York City Police Foundation Gala last night – Basic Instinct was reunited. Sharon Stone and Michael Douglas and, as you can see, one is holding up better than the other. Bet you he’s had more work done than she. Fair enough, he is older. But her face... it’s f-cking marvellous, non? This Hot Bitch, I don’t care what she’s had done, whatever it is it’s keeping her a Hot Bitch. Full Story

Sharon Stone and Michael Douglas at police event in New York Sharon Stone and Michael Douglas at police event in New York Sharon Stone and Michael Douglas at police event in New York Sharon Stone and Michael Douglas at police event in New York Sharon Stone and Michael Douglas at police event in New York Sharon Stone and Michael Douglas at police event in New York Sharon Stone and Michael Douglas at police event in New York Sharon Stone and Michael Douglas at police event in New York Sharon Stone and Michael Douglas at police event in New York Sharon Stone and Michael Douglas at police event in New York

Posted on Wednesday, March 17, 2010 at 8:46

This Hot Bitch...

Is really one of the hottest bitches ever. Here’s Sharon Stone on the set of Law & Order SVU. Sure, despite her denials, there’s been some work. But the work is good. The work is not Madonna. Sharon has crows’ feet and lines on her face. Sharon’s lips aren’t taking over her face. Full Story

Sharon Stone in New York on set of Law & Order SVU Sharon Stone in New York on set of Law & Order SVU Sharon Stone in New York on set of Law & Order SVU Sharon Stone in New York on set of Law & Order SVU Sharon Stone in New York on set of Law & Order SVU Sharon Stone in New York on set of Law & Order SVU Sharon Stone in New York on set of Law & Order SVU Sharon Stone in New York on set of Law & Order SVU Sharon Stone in New York on set of Law & Order SVU Sharon Stone in New York on set of Law & Order SVU

Posted on Friday, March 12, 2010 at 9:33

A new Kate?

Kate Winslet presented to Colin Firth last night at the BAFTAs. Since I posted about her last week, many of you wrote to question whether or not she’s had something done. You see a difference in her face. Is it her eyes? I agree – there’s a certain Madonna quality to her right now though obviously not horrifying. Full Story

Kate Winslet at the 2010 BAFTAs Kate Winslet at the 2010 BAFTAs Kate Winslet at the 2010 BAFTAs Kate Winslet at the 2010 BAFTAs Kate Winslet at the 2010 BAFTAs Kate Winslet at the 2010 BAFTAs

Posted on Monday, February 22, 2010 at 8:45

Madonna’s Jesus Juice

So she’s investing in some kind of magic water from Brazil that promises eternal youth. It’s called Vita Coco, aptly named because it’s mixed with coconut milk. Please. You know where this is going. Michael K will be all over this Fountain of Spunk if he isn’t already. Full Story

Madonna Madonna Madonna Jesus Luz Jesus Luz John Mayer John Mayer

Posted on Wednesday, February 03, 2010 at 11:30

You could have been Sandra but now you’re Mischa

Meg Ryan is only 3 years older than Sandra Bullock. Only. And yet... This is Meg today at the opening ceremony for Istanbul Fashion Week. It’s like she’s 70 and wearing a wig. This face, those lips, that chin... remember how cute she used to be? I’ve attached a photo for comparison. Full Story

Meg Ryan opens Istanbul Fashion Week What Meg Ryan used to look like Meg Ryan opens Istanbul Fashion Week Meg Ryan opens Istanbul Fashion Week Meg Ryan opens Istanbul Fashion Week Meg Ryan opens Istanbul Fashion Week Meg Ryan opens Istanbul Fashion Week

Posted on Wednesday, February 03, 2010 at 10:03

Grammy Third Lip

How many times did they pan to her last night? Are they aware of her box office record the last 5 years? Because cutting to Nicole Kidman’s Third Lip will not help ratings. It did however satisfy our Third Lip needs. Third Lip was super extra fat this weekend. Probably a pre-Oscar 6 week treatment. Full Story

Nicole Kidman at the Grammy Awards 2010 Nicole Kidman at the Grammy Awards 2010 Nicole Kidman at the Grammy Awards 2010 Nicole Kidman at the Grammy Awards 2010 Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban at the Grammy Awards 2010 Nicole Kidman at the Grammy Awards 2010 Nicole Kidman at the Grammy Awards 2010 Nicole Kidman at the Grammy Awards 2010 Nicole Kidman at the Grammy Awards 2010 Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban at the Grammy Awards 2010 Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban at the Grammy Awards 2010

Posted on Monday, February 01, 2010 at 7:11

The more you fight it…

The worse it gets? That would seem to be the case for Madonna. Without the lighting and the makeup and the retouching, Madonna is not what you see in the Dolce & Gabbana ads. The issue is not that we age. The issue is that she’s fighting that bitch with every dollar, with every vein, with every needle… And the result is this – candid shots of Madonna out for dinner last night in London and then catching a flight today back to New York. Full Story

Madonna at Heathrow Airport Madonna at Heathrow Airport Madonna at Heathrow Airport Madonna at Heathrow Airport Madonna at Heathrow Airport Madonna out for dinner last night in London Madonna out for dinner last night in London Madonna's Spring 2010 Dolce & Gabbana ad campaign Madonna's Spring 2010 Dolce & Gabbana ad campaign Madonna's Spring 2010 Dolce & Gabbana ad campaign Madonna's Spring 2010 Dolce & Gabbana ad campaign

Posted on Friday, January 29, 2010 at 1:10 PM

Best SAG Hair: Third Lip Kidman

She looked good, y’all, she did. She looked immobilised in the face, sure, but compared to how she’s been lately, she did look good. With her hair loose and wavy, wearing a beautifully ornate Oscar de la Renta, Granny was almost fresh. Like fresh out the freezer. So much better ginger red than she is as a blonde. Full Story

Nicole Kidman at SAGs 2010 Nicole Kidman at SAGs 2010 Nicole Kidman at SAGs 2010 Nicole Kidman at Hope for Haiti Now

Posted on Monday, January 25, 2010 at 6:05

Ghetto Tits getting married – CAUTION PHOTOS

Tara Reid’s rep has confirmed to People.com that she is engaged. His name is Michael Axtmann. He proposed over dinner at The Little Door in Hollywood. According to her publicist: "Michael surprised Tara with a beautiful round brilliant cut ring. Full Story

Tara Reid is engaged Tara Reid is engaged Tara Reid is engaged Tara Reid is engaged Tara Reid is engaged Tara Reid is engaged

Posted on Thursday, January 21, 2010 at 8:38

Best Third Lip: Courteney Cox

Seems impossible but Third Lip Nicole Kidman seemed downright demure in size and paralysis next to Courteney Cox’s. Did you watch any of CC’s interviews on the carpet? That sh-t is rigid. And it makes for the strangest effect when she speaks. Like she’s trying to push it out the way. Full Story

Courteney Cox loses at Golden Globes 2010 Courteney Cox loses at Golden Globes 2010 Courteney Cox loses at Golden Globes 2010 Courteney Cox loses at Golden Globes 2010 Courteney Cox loses at Golden Globes 2010 Courteney Cox loses at Golden Globes 2010

Posted on Monday, January 18, 2010 at 7:08

Third Lip vs Ricky Gervais

Third Lip will take the stage at the Beverly Hilton next next Sunday for the Golden Globe Awards as Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman has been confirmed as a presenter, likely in support of Nine which is up for 5 awards, including acting nods for Marion Cotillard, Penelope Cruz, and DDL. She herself has not been recognised. Full Story

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban leaving Australia after holidays Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban leaving Australia after holidays Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban leaving Australia after holidays Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban leaving Australia after holidays Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban leaving Australia after holidays Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban leaving Australia after holidays

Posted on Tuesday, January 05, 2010 at 10:07

Madge & Lourdes face Third Lip

In fairness to Madonna, she’s got a decade on Nicole Kidman. Still…the sight of these two on the same carpet last night at the New York premiere of Nine must have been a plastic surgeon’s erection. What? But Granny Kidman doesn’t f-ck around with her face. That’s what she tells magazines. Full Story

Nicole Kidman at the Nine premiere in NY Nicole Kidman at the Nine premiere in NY Nicole Kidman at the Nine premiere in NY Nicole Kidman at the Nine premiere in NY Nicole Kidman at the Nine premiere in NY Nicole Kidman at the Nine premiere in NY Nicole Kidman on Larry King Live Nicole Kidman on Larry King Live Nicole Kidman on the Today Show Madonna with daughter Lourdes and Jessica Seinfeld at the Nine New York premiere Madonna with daughter Lourdes and Jessica Seinfeld at the Nine New York premiere Madonna with daughter Lourdes and Jessica Seinfeld at the Nine New York premiere Madonna with daughter Lourdes and Jessica Seinfeld at the Nine New York premiere Madonna with daughter Lourdes at the Nine New York premiere Madonna with daughter Lourdes at the Nine New York premiere Madonna with daughter Lourdes and Jessica Seinfeld at the Nine New York premiere Madonna at the Nine New York premiere Madonna at the Nine New York premiere Madonna at the Nine New York premiere Madonna at the Nine New York premiere Madonna at the Nine New York premiere Madonna at the Nine New York premiere Madonna at the Nine New York premiere Madonna at the Nine New York premiere Madonna at the Nine New York premiere

Posted on Wednesday, December 16, 2009 at 6:51

Better?

I can’t decide. You decide. It’s Meg Ryan in New York promoting her new film Serious Moonlight first on Regis & Kelly and then at the premiere with director Cheryl Hines and Justin Long. From some angles the work isn’t so scary. From other angles, the work is very, very scary. I loved Meg Ryan. Full Story

Meg Ryan at the NY premiere of Serious Moonlight Meg Ryan at the NY premiere of Serious Moonlight Meg Ryan at the NY premiere of Serious Moonlight Meg Ryan at the NY premiere of Serious Moonlight Meg Ryan at the NY premiere of Serious Moonlight Meg Ryan at the NY premiere of Serious Moonlight Meg Ryan at the NY premiere of Serious Moonlight Meg Ryan with Cheryl Hines and Justin Long at the NY premiere of Serious Moonlight Meg Ryan on Regis & Kelly Meg Ryan on Regis & Kelly

Posted on Friday, December 04, 2009 at 9:28

Third Lip, red lips, and big teeth

Third Lip was painted red yesterday at the London premiere of Nine. Third Lip looks smaller in red, non? Or is that because the teeth are now so big? Many of you have written to remark on Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman’s teeth. Do they seem enlarged? Veneers? Poor Third Lip. She’s always fighting something. Full Story

Nicole Kidman at the UK premiere of Nine Nicole Kidman at the UK premiere of Nine Nicole Kidman at the UK premiere of Nine Nicole Kidman at the UK premiere of Nine Nicole Kidman at the UK premiere of Nine Nicole Kidman at the UK premiere of Nine Nicole Kidman at the UK premiere of Nine Nicole Kidman at the UK premiere of Nine Nicole Kidman at the UK premiere of Nine Nicole Kidman at the UK premiere of Nine

Posted on Friday, December 04, 2009 at 7:31

Third Lip in London

Nine premiere is tonight. Third Lip, Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman, and Keith Urban flew in today for the event. Third Lip loves it in London. The press is always way up her ass there. Actually, the press is always way up her ass everywhere. You know she’s super tight with Rupert Murdoch, right? Just making sure. Full Story

Nicole Kidman arrives with Keith Urban in London for the Nine premiere Nicole Kidman arrives with Keith Urban in London for the Nine premiere Nicole Kidman arrives with Keith Urban in London for the Nine premiere Nicole Kidman arrives with Keith Urban in London for the Nine premiere Nicole Kidman arrives with Keith Urban in London for the Nine premiere Nicole Kidman arrives with Keith Urban in London for the Nine premiere Nicole Kidman arrives with Keith Urban in London for the Nine premiere

Posted on Thursday, December 03, 2009 at 8:38

Third Lip runs away

As you know, I’m obsessed with it. Like, I can’t get enough of Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman’s Third Lip. It has its own personality now. Third Lip is now a proper name. And Third Lip accompanied Gran to the CMAs on Wednesday, evidently freshly plumped, fattened up for Nine promotion, prompting Page Six... Full Story

Nicole Kidman with Keith Urban at the Country Music Awards

Posted on Friday, November 13, 2009 at 6:56

Gwyneth hides, Madonna parties

There was a party in New York last night to celebrate the launch of Valentino: the Last Emperor on DVD. Gwyneth Paltrow is a major Valentino supporter. She was in New York for sure at the weekend trick or treating with her kids in the Hamptons. But amid the cheating allegations – Chris Martin and that slag Kate Bosworth – Gwyneth is hiding out, laying low. Full Story

Madonna and Jesus Luz leaving the Valentino DVD launch celebration Madonna and Jesus Luz leaving the Valentino DVD launch celebration Madonna and Jesus Luz leaving the Valentino DVD launch celebration Madonna and Jesus Luz leaving the Valentino DVD launch celebration Madonna and Jesus Luz leaving the Valentino DVD launch celebration Madonna and Jesus Luz leaving the Valentino DVD launch celebration

Posted on Wednesday, November 04, 2009 at 7:35

Granny says she’s kinky

For reals. Tight ass Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman claims she’s sexually adventurous and naturally curious and has experienced it all – from the pedestrian to the most mundane and back again. Because she’s such a free spirit. That’s the story she’s selling in British GQ. She also used her own wax figure to pose on the cover of the magazine Must have been a bloat day. Full Story

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban with baby Sunday Rose in Nashville Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban with baby Sunday Rose in Nashville Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban with baby Sunday Rose in Nashville

Posted on Wednesday, November 04, 2009 at 7:00

There’s a 20+ year difference

Between these two. And while Emmy Rossum is a Why Is if there ever was a Why Is, Demi was an It at the beginning and continues to be now, if for no other reason than her seemingly eternal beauty. I spoke to Demi briefly at TIFF. I have seen this up close. Full Story

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher at the Gentleman’s Ball (with Rossum front right) Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher at the Gentleman’s Ball Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher at the Gentleman’s Ball Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher at the Gentleman’s Ball Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher at the Gentleman’s Ball Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher at the Gentleman’s Ball Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher at the Gentleman’s Ball Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher at the Gentleman’s Ball Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher at the Gentleman’s Ball Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher at the Gentleman’s Ball Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher at the Gentleman’s Ball

Posted on Thursday, October 29, 2009 at 2:01 PM

No Botox for the eyeballs

If it were possible, I wonder if Granny Freeze would take care of that too. Then she’d never be caught by cameras looking like this. Which is less than perfect. And less than perfect isn’t good enough. Only completely immobilised and creaseless is good enough. But let’s not fault Gran for seeming tired. Full Story

Nicole Kidman on Capitol Hill Nicole Kidman on Capitol Hill Nicole Kidman on Capitol Hill Nicole Kidman on Capitol Hill Nicole Kidman on Capitol Hill Nicole Kidman on Capitol Hill Nicole Kidman on Capitol Hill Nicole Kidman on Capitol Hill Nicole Kidman on Capitol Hill

Posted on Thursday, October 22, 2009 at 7:26