Assy Style Articles
Fashion faux pas, bad hair, and other no-nos.
Saturday night in New York, Angelina wore Versace to premiere The Changeling. Saturday night in Vegas, Mariah Carey wore the same Versace to host a party. One dress, two broads, and both in Spanx….who wins? Oh Mimi. You never want to go head to head against the Jolaire.* Mimi probably went Hello Kitty on her stylist’s ass. Full Story
Ashley Judd attended the World Youth AIDS gala last night wearing this. What is that? Why is that? Why would anyone wear that? Ashley’s career has slowed down dramatically the last few years since she married – perhaps by choice but also by reality. Head to head among her peers like Julianne Moore or Laura Linney, Naomi Watts, Salma Hayek, Halle Berry, Kate Winslet, Cate Blanchett, my Gwyneth, Renee Zellweger (and the list goes on and on and on) the truth is how would Ashley Judd ever out-act any of those ladies just mentioned? Her next feature is Tooth Fairy with The Rock…B List At Best, right? And then there was that curious little trip to rehab for emotional problems. Full Story
Sorry I’m a bit slow today. Been distracted reading this at Maclean’s. F*cking hilarious. Anyway… So I guess we’ve been spoiled a little. With all these celebrities getting pregnant and capitalising on their pregnancies as a boost to their careers via the paparazzi, we’ve been treated almost on a daily basis to super cute maternity wear. Full Story
Porny can’t act. Porny can’t dress. Porny can’t think. Porny can’t make good decisions. And now… Porny can’t sing. Call me Cruise but I always thought she could sing. At the very least, I thought she could do that. Her old songs may have sucked and her technique may have been gymnastic vocals at its worst, but I naively believed that the title “Jessica Simpson, singer”, was not a fallacy. Full Story
Just wrote last week about Jennifer Lopez’s open-mouth pose and how it makes my life. Should that be qualified by saying but maybe not with red lips? JLo was at Macy’s today – what’s with Macy’s lately!? – to launch her new fragrance “Deseo For Men”. You’ll note the dude she uses in the ad with her is not her own husband. Full Story
Seriously… Why can’t they just hold hands? Just once? The GMD took his Robo out for dinner last night and as you can see, as usual, he had to present her to the paps, guiding her like a delicate lady child to and from the restaurant. You will note they coordinated fabrics before heading out. Full Story
Always entertaining, the Beckhams. Always better together than they are apart. Love. Them. And you are not seeing things. Here are Victoria and David in NYC at Macy’s on Friday promoting their new fragrance Signature. She is wearing thigh high boots, 5 and a half inches… without a heel. Full Story
Equus opened on Broadway last night with Daniel Radcliffe receiving rave reviews. Much more enthusiastic than Katie Holmes’s debut a week earlier. Oh but he’s…. so not cute anymore. Photos attached of Dan on stage and at the afterparty with his gross pubey facial hair in an awkward, if you’re trying to be ironic it’s definitely not working, dorky looking suit. Full Story
How much do you love it that he busted them out in New York City? Check it out – the GMD out and about in his signature white wedges borrowed from Victoria Beckham, in pristine condition, getting a little lift, an extra inch or two to pad his diminutive 5 ft 6… on a good day. Full Story
Size Two wore her hair for a small town prom. Or a small town wedding circa 1995. How the f&ck does this get past security? How the f&ck did she find a stylist even willing to do this? Ken Paves wouldn’t do this! Even Ken Paves would draw the line at this! I’m telling you…when you have to go out of state to get your hair did, it’s wrong. Full Story
Too much hanging out with Posh. This is vintage Victoria Beckham: make everyone around you look worse. It’s working with Eva Longoria. And of course, it’s easy enough with Ken Paves cocking up her hair. The dress doesn’t help either. Of course it’s f&cking Marchesa! Photos from Wenn.com ... Full Story
She’s not a fashion girl. So the dress… it’s obviously not the best. Far from the best. But it was a sweet effort, if not the most fashionable. Let’s focus instead on premiere week. The Office is back on Thursday and do we worry for Jim and Pam? It’s not television if there’s no difficulty. Full Story
It’s a bold idea. But is bold good? I have a thing about wrinkles. It’s from my mother. She irons everything. And she would say, if she could see this dress… Chow chow. Chow is wrinkly in Cantonese. We like to repeat adjectives twice for added effect. Chow chow may be bold…but chow chow not good. Full Story
Love her. Which is why it’s so sad. That she shopped at a truck stop in Vegas. It’s the ruching down the front. And the bedazzled straps. You know who wears a dress like this? It’s That Girl from your husband’s office who drunk calls him every weekend. The one you’d like to throw down at the Christmas party but end up sparing out of pity when she walks into the venue wearing this dress. Full Story
The good news is… her face doesn’t look so terrifying. Amazing how some people put other people into perspective, right? Constant shots of Madonna and Granny Freeze have numbed us all, no pun intended. The bad news… she’s shopping at the mall. You know those ladies’ stores at the mall? They have names like After Six. Full Story
This is Jude Law last night leaving Claridges after the Tropic Thunder premiere. Like… shave your f7cking head already! My dad started losing his hair at 25. And he persisted with the combover. And when it was blowing outside the longer parts would flip in the wind and I remember thinking to myself one day when he picked me up from school that he could braid it, it was so long. Full Story
Saturday in Santa Monica, in a hangar at the local airport, check out Kate Beckinsale on the carpet at the Pink Party to benefit Cedars-Sinai Women’s Cancer Research. You would have thought it was a gala, right? One look at her husband will tell you – it was certainly not a gala. Not even close. Full Story
Blake Lively at the Miss Sixty Show during New York fashion week yesterday in a green parachute pant jumpsuit. You likey? I can’t decide. You decide. Like the top. But maybe it would have been better cut short? Just below the ass? Don’t forget tonight – episode 2, Season 2. It’s better than last week. Full Story
No… seriously… why was she lipsynching? Christina Aguilera sucks at a lot but she doesn’t suck at singing. So again, why no live? Check her out, arriving on the carpet last night at the VMAs – an ensemble that isn’t the greatest but that sure beat the hell out of those latex gunty pants she tried to rock on stage. Full Story
Nicolas Cage at Letterman last night or John Travolta’s spray paint surprise from the Superbowl? Which is worse? Not sure what exactly Nic was promoting on Dave but it really doesn’t matter anyway. He’s like the Kate Hudson of big box office – makes the same movie over and over and over again. Full Story
