Baby and Bump Obsession Articles
Taupe took her daughter to the park to play on the swings yesterday – mommy and Violet pictures are always a sure thing. These will end up in one of the weeklies for sure…because people love babies and people love bumps! As you know, Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck are expecting their second child. Full Story
Granny worked out hard throughout her pregnancy, even hitting a spin class the day before she delivered Sunday on Monday. And now that her baby has been born, Gran is stepping up the fitness intensity even more. This must be why she’s already skinny as sh*t. Check out the Freeze at yoga yesterday clearly obsessed with getting back into a size double 0 Balenciaga by the time the Australia premiere rolls around. Full Story
Time for your daily spy session on the Brange. Brad Pitt, his boys and the Chosen One out yesterday for some fun around their chateau. Maddox took the lead on his little motorbike as dad followed behind in a golf cart with Shiloh on his lap and it looks like Pax trailed behind on his whatever you call it but I want one. Full Story
The clever folks at Bauer Griffin were able to capture the first shots of Angelina Jolie out of the hospital, on the grounds of the Pitt Family chateau watching her kids play. You will note that even the skinny ass Angie, always at the centre of ridiculous heroin rumours that are complete bollocks because of her veiny arms, even Angie after twins wearing black is fuller everywhere than Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman wearing white. Full Story
When? In 1988? Just kidding! Really? Because Gran totally had her baby 2 weeks ago – remember? Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman’s daughter Sunday was born on a Monday. Just 4 days after that, a glowing Granny went out for lunch with friends. And as you can see, her stomach is totally concave again. Full Story
Quick gloat. Click away if you hate. Victor Garber has confirmed that Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck are expecting their second child, this just a couple of weeks after total bullsh*t reports claimed they were on the verge of a split. Full Story
Because Dr Sussman is the best obstetrician ever in the history of obstetrics! Dr Sussman of course is the man who delivered the Holy Twins on Saturday in Nice. He’s also been the star of several press conferences and even now, now that the double deities have arrived, Dr Sussman is STILL talking. ... Full Story
OK! Magazine paid $1.5 for the first exclusive rights to the Alba Bitch’s baby and follow up photos later on. So here’s Jessica with Honor on the cover of the new issue. No offence to all you moms out there but really, this baby obsession is out of control. Full Story
Katie Holmes was on set at Eli Stone yesterday to shoot a cameo – the GMD brought Little Sci to visit mom at work. And also to check up on her, making sure there’s no secret getaway plan. After all, Johnny Lee Miller was once married to Angelina Jolie. And Johnny Lee Miller is infinitely sexier than the Gay Midget Dwarf. Full Story
All those magazine covers and exclusive stories, all the rumours, all the speculation... the Pitts must have been laughing. Hard. Because remember, in the end, the Pitts are always in control. And with the birth of a girl AND a boy, the Pitts proved them all wrong. For weeks and weeks, it was a foregone conclusion – Entertainment Tonight going so far as to prematurely report the names of two baby girls born to The Brange called Isla and Amelie. Full Story
The MiniVan Majority loves babies! The world loves babies! And thanks to the new power of the Yummy Mummy movement, getting pregnant has become the go-to career move in Hollywood, yielding the easiest paycheque ever. Pose with your newborn! Earn a million dollars! Or $3 million if you’re Matthew McConaughey. Full Story
All you yummy mummies will be mad at me for saying but seriously…this has more to do with chicken fried style than the fact that she gave birth not too long ago. Jamie Lynn looks like sh*t. And there is NO excuse for having hair the colour of Estelle Getty’s wig from the Golden Girls. Check it out – Jamie Lynn Spears on the cover of OK! with baby Maddie, still part of that $1 million deal hammered out by mama Lynne way back in December when the magazine paid her to break the exclusive about her pregnancy. Full Story
Estee Lauder launched a new fragrance yesterday and trotted out four spokesmodels for the occasion. My Gwyneth obliged, showing up in a gorgeous white little cocktail, looking youthful and fresh and lovely…but also a little nauseous, like she was holding back her lunch. She did however make it out to the Waverly after the event so perhaps what I’m interpreting as nausea is really just disgust for having to whore it out as the employee of a cosmetics company. Full Story
Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubrey –a rare sighting together last night on their way to the Stevie Wonder concert at the Hollywood Bowl…like the most pulchritudinous parentals in Hollywood. Seriously…it’s sick, SICK!, the double gorgessity. Wonder what’s in the grocery bag. Full Story
Just received a media alert … SUNDAY ROSE KIDMAN URBAN weighed 6 pounds, 7 1Z2 ounces. I like the name Sunday. Very much. And very, very God-friendly... perfect for the MiniVan Majority. Am attaching photo of Granny Freeze's wax figure - so life-plastic like! Right down to the surgery scar by her hairline! Full Story
Almost like it’s the first time! Like she’s never been a mother before! People.com is confirming that Granny Nicole gave birth to a daughter this morning in Nashville. You think her face moved while she was in labour? Or did Gran opt for a c-section to preserve her other parts? Am going with door number 2. Full Story
Is it just me or do these two go out of their way, constantly, to remind us that 1. they are married and 2. Granny Freeze has a hospitable uterus? During a concert in Nashville the other night, Keith Urban followed orders and dedicated the song Better Half to granny Nicole Kidman, going the extra mile to alert, well, everyone, that she’s due like any minute now:"I’m going to dedicate a song to my very, very, very, very, VERY pregnant wife!" Must have been her push present… to go along with his “Nicole” tat – not new but always a nice reminder for the naysayers. Full Story
Ryan Adams likes to think he’s punk as f&ck. He should learn from little Maddox Pitt who is 7 years old. The kids have been visiting their mother in hospital on rotation. Here’s Maddox arriving today for some time alone with mom. Full Story
While the Pitt double deities are getting all the attention, this is Jennifer Lopez in Italy with her babies on a boat in this exclusive photo sent in by Christine I. Little bonus gift to the Lopez crazy superfans who are mad at me because I'm too "mean" to their idol. Full Story
Dear Gossips,
After kicking ass at the box office this weekend, it was revealed yesterday that Angelina Jolie was admitted to hospital to await the arrival of her Holy Twins. Maybe she’ll birth them just in time to take down Hancock on the Fourth of July.
Her obstetrician has scheduled a press conference for this afternoon (Wednesday). No word yet on the announcement but Brangelunatics the world over are refreshing their browsers every 5 minutes. This is Brad at the hospital.
Better news…
After so many petitions and pleas, Brenda Walsh could very well be back on tv come September! Ausiello is reporting that Shannen Doherty has been approached and that she is considering it…but that her price is super steep. Oh, and she’s said to be concerned about “the material”. Please.
It’s Wednesday, am blogging all day, check back often. And scroll down for all articles you may have missed on the long weekend!
Yours in gossip,
Lainey
PS. Donny Osmond isn’t hiding the other woman.
PPS. Jude Law is not one of the boys. Neither is Three Whiskies Orlando Bloom. Or Mike Myers.
