Famewhores Articles
Oh Shelfy. So predictable. It was widely reported yesterday that Britney and Justin will be reuniting professionally for a duet, according to OK! Magazine. Here’s what I wrote at the end of the article: Besides, adding Chicken Fried back in (Pip’s) diet would most certainly push Shelf Ass off the map. Full Story
When? In 1988? Just kidding! Really? Because Gran totally had her baby 2 weeks ago – remember? Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman’s daughter Sunday was born on a Monday. Just 4 days after that, a glowing Granny went out for lunch with friends. And as you can see, her stomach is totally concave again. Full Story
Shonda Rhimes was asked to address the Katherine Heigl situation during the ABC TCA session yesterday. "When I was told about it, my reaction was surprised. I have a really wonderful working relationship with Katherine. Everybody knows Izzie is one off my favorite characters." But journalists and critics did not let up. Full Story
Justin Timberlake hosted the ESPYs last night and tried to be funny. Pipsqueak performed an “original rock opera”, paying homage to everyone from Tiger Woods to the Boston Celtics, and belittling Jessica Simpson, which wouldn’t be the first time. A few years ago, Pippy hit up Saturday Night Live and played her for the moron she is. Full Story
Dear Gossips,
A big deal was made the other day that Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman would not be selling her baby photos. So was it an honourable decision – that somehow the photo-opp loving Gran would suddenly be picture shy? Or was it more case of no one caring?
Word is, Granny wanted no less than $3 million, refusing to suffer the indignity of being paid less than lesser celebrities. Unfortunately, the market value for Granny’s baby pics more or less matches her current box office appeal – which, as you know, is sh*t. Rumour has it, no publication was willing to pay her asking price… so instead, Gran had it “leaked” that she eschewed the role of parental pimp.
Please.
The Freeze knows what we say. And more than anything she will want to “prove” that she had a Sunday. Just because she won’t get paid for them, doesn’t mean they won’t exist. There will be candids. And soon.
Wednesday – am blogging all day, check back often. And sorry about the lack of clues this week. Have finally found a book to obsess about, been distracted.
Yours in gossip,
Lainey
PS. Sienna Miller is not the other woman.
Try not to Rossum. Tori Spelling and that piece of sh*t she married, Kevin Federline Jr, decided they haven’t been getting enough attention lately, so yesterday, the two ran into some paps to get their picture taken. Just to make sure we know how desperate they are, Junior also leaned in for a kiss. Full Story
Madonna was not wearing a wedding ring on Friday but she was holding her husband’s hand... Check out the Family Madge at Kabbalah service the other night – Madonna being led out by Guy Ritchie and again yesterday taking their kids out to a movie, both continuing to attempt to convince the world that all is right between them But who cares? Who cares when Lourdes is around? Note that the only 2 people wearing sunglasses are Madonna and Lourdes. Full Story
All those magazine covers and exclusive stories, all the rumours, all the speculation... the Pitts must have been laughing. Hard. Because remember, in the end, the Pitts are always in control. And with the birth of a girl AND a boy, the Pitts proved them all wrong. For weeks and weeks, it was a foregone conclusion – Entertainment Tonight going so far as to prematurely report the names of two baby girls born to The Brange called Isla and Amelie. Full Story
Couldn’t be bothered to pay close enough attention while reading to the article to find out whether or not she has a background in dance. It doesn’t matter anyway. Because never before has there been such an inelegant herm on a dance floor. Check out Shelf Ass Jessica Biel in Harper’s Bazaar – some kind of photo shoot showcasing her dance moves with several designers. Full Story
As my mother would say… Why this happening? Pipsqueakweasel Justin Timberlake eating out without his Shelf Ass Jessica Biel? Impossible! Yet here he is – JT last night photographed outside a restaurant in Beverly Hills and no Shelfy in sight, which only means that we’ll be seeing Shelfy clinging to her Pippy very, very soon, lest you forget he has a girlfriend. Full Story
“These arms…they ache. And this soul…is in pain”. Lyrics from Ali Lohan’s new song All The Way Around in which she addresses learning from her love mistakes. What??? She’s 14!!! Although I suppose it’s not easy to remember that, given that Dina has whored her up and classed her down, the way she does all her daughters, so that what was supposed to be an adolescent time of discovery has now become an adolescent time of pimpage. Full Story
Almost like it’s the first time! Like she’s never been a mother before! People.com is confirming that Granny Nicole gave birth to a daughter this morning in Nashville. You think her face moved while she was in labour? Or did Gran opt for a c-section to preserve her other parts? Am going with door number 2. Full Story
Is it just me or do these two go out of their way, constantly, to remind us that 1. they are married and 2. Granny Freeze has a hospitable uterus? During a concert in Nashville the other night, Keith Urban followed orders and dedicated the song Better Half to granny Nicole Kidman, going the extra mile to alert, well, everyone, that she’s due like any minute now:"I’m going to dedicate a song to my very, very, very, very, VERY pregnant wife!" Must have been her push present… to go along with his “Nicole” tat – not new but always a nice reminder for the naysayers. Full Story
Amazing, non? That people are still so naïve about the paps. Katie Holmes can’t sell tickets on Broadway, then new sets of photos of KatE with Little Sci are immediately released last week, culminating in these family shots of the Cruises in Telluride enjoying the Fourth of July parade with Little Sci front and centre and sooooo adorable! And becoming so beautiful! Look at her mouth. Full Story
Shelf Ass Jessica Biel has joined us on the blogs! As is the case with everything Shelfy sets her ass to, the primary focus behind her first blog entry was to share with the world an update on her career, including the four film projects she’s pipweasled her ass onto thanks to the tireless tipping off of the paparazzi by her brilliant publicist. Full Story
If I looked like Sienna Miller, I’d be on top of Taylor Kitsch instead of writing a gossip blog. This is the problem sometimes with beautiful girls. Their taste is for ass. First Rhys Ifans and now…News of the World... Full Story
By now it’s no secret, not even to the MiniVan Majority – there is only one reason to go the Ivy. And it isn’t the food. This is why usually at the Ivy, it’s B list at best. But check out Christina Aguilera the other day, creating a pap frenzy on her way out of the Ivy after lunch. Full Story
People.com originally insisted for the benefit of the MiniVan that its poster girl Jennifer Aniston was determined to keep her relationship with John Mayer private and, as such, went to great measures to avoid being photographed with him in London. Full Story
On a weekend when Angelina Jolie’s Wanted exceeded opening expectations without even walking a carpet to promote the film, Jennifer Aniston tried to counter with a famewhore tactic of her own. As you know, John Mayer played several stops in London and Jen flew out to join him last week. She was observed at both his shows watching in the wings but not photographed. Full Story
The LA Galaxy played DC United on Saturday – temperatures soared so Becks had to take his top off. Pity non? As always, David Beckham is the hotness. But … is it just me or is he looking a little lean? Speaking of SHE… While Becks travelled with the team, Posh stayed back with the boys and hooked up with her new Kate BFF Beckinsale to take them all figure skating. Full Story
