Hidden Homos Articles
Tara Reid cleaned herself up at the mall last night, hiding her hacked up abs under a short black dress, to attend the red carpet of The Women in LA. Um…which junior publicist invited Ghetto Tits to the premiere of a film about female friendships and the experiences that test them??? Dumb. Have not seen The Women so can’t say if it’s alright but even if it’s not alright, can’t it still be a success? Wild Hogs sucked large donkey ass – three middle aged men and one flying pilot hidden homo in a “family movie” managed to earn over $100 million at the box office. Full Story
It makes my life: seeing the GMD “present” his Robo. And it’s even more welcome since it’s been so long - months maybe since we’ve seen the Presentation: he holding her hand ceremoniously, a princess introducing his well-trained princess to a hungry public, this time in matching black and shades. Full Story
For the GMD, if marriage was a strategic move, and you know my thoughts on that, then in hindsight I’m sure we can all agree – a tactical error. Because Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes make each other assy. She looks assy when she’s with him, he looks assy when he’s with her. Alone though, when he’s on his own, and not holding her in a death grip with his short arms wrapped around her waist, when he’s flying solo with no Goose of a wife, the GMD is much more appealing. Full Story
Every day we see her heading to work, Robo puts on a scowl face. But this morning...this morning the sun came out. This morning, the gay who made her life gripped her hand and walked her to work. All is right with Katie’s world. No wonder she’s smiling wide and clear! Check out the GMD, now in NYC, chivalrously dropping off his RoboBride, walking her ten steps from the car to the door. Full Story
Look at him. Wearing every colour under the rainbow, no pun intended, and too new jeans….and a jacket that shines? It shines! It shines with a sheen! Have you ever seen anyone as UNcool as Tom Cruise? Why work so hard working out only to wear a purple sweater in Los Angeles in the middle of f&cking August??? Here they are at last night’s Tropic Thunder premiere scaring the sh*t out of everyone, as usual, with their over-exuberance. Full Story
Ok we have to go back to this. Because it’s not just tucked behind her ears… it’s actually cut right off. And the cut itself is all good. Even great. Am all over it. The cut in combination with the androgyny and the scientology and the looming gay midget, as ass backwards as that sounds, is what makes it creepy creepy. Full Story
Man or Woman? Katie Holmes is not quite there yet, but YET is the operative word. The difference is butchy girls are proud of their style choices. Katie on the other hand really wants to be girly but must honour her husband and play like a man. This is Katie heading to rehearsal today in NYC, still wearing those assy jeans, but now they’re paired with accessories. Full Story
After being trapped at sea on family holiday with the GMD, Katie Holmes has arrived in NYC to throw herself into some serious rehearsal time for her Broadway debut in All My Sons. A supertoned KatE was seen out and about today, clutching a binder, showing off some cut arms, and wearing those ridiculous jeans. Full Story
David and Victoria Beckham and their boys flew via private plane to Telluride yesterday to join the Tom Cruise on his ranch for a short visit. As you can see, the GMD personally arrived to pick up the party, especially excited that he and David would be sleeping a few doors down from each other, at least for a couple of nights. Full Story
Amazing, non? That people are still so naïve about the paps. Katie Holmes can’t sell tickets on Broadway, then new sets of photos of KatE with Little Sci are immediately released last week, culminating in these family shots of the Cruises in Telluride enjoying the Fourth of July parade with Little Sci front and centre and sooooo adorable! And becoming so beautiful! Look at her mouth. Full Story
Bride, that is. Am still gagging over Mario Lopez’s coronation as the Hottest Bachelor… People Magazine must need money – and lots of it! – to pay for photos of those Holy Twins. Because it smells like they just got bought. Mario Lopez is feeding The Brange. Hilarious. Mario Lopez also has to step off for Katie Holmes. Full Story
Who’s the dude standing next to the homo gay? That would be Nick Loren, John Travolta’s stunt double. Something about a record release party in New York the other night and I guess John turned up to lend his support. Not hard to see why. Nick, in addition to putting himself in harm’s way on movie sets to protect the Travolta, also happens to be kind of attractive, if that look is your thing, a fact that could not have gone unnoticed by the JT. Full Story
Katie Holmes is moving to New York. Naturally, the GMD and Little Sci will be joining her. As you know, KatE is headed for Broadway to star in the production of All My Sons. Producer Eric Falkenstein says she is perfect ... Full Story
The GMD bought a house for Katie last year. It’s now finally ready, renovated, and ripe for a party. So this weekend they had one. And invited all their famous friends and frauds. Among them the usual spattering of Scientologists like Kirstie Ally and forever B listers like Eva Longoria and the Posh was there too, but also Kyra Sedgwick which is random and who I love and La Lopez somehow found a babysitter but only for one night OF COURSE because she says she doesn’t have a nanny. Full Story
Best rumour of the day… OK, second best. Especially considering what’s coming up next about Nicole Kidman. Stay tuned. Probably full of sh&t but you love it anyway. Apparently Katie Holmes wanted desperately to have a night out at the Sex & the City premiere last night, especially since all kindsa fashion people were attending. Full Story
I loved Will Smith. Will Smith was perfect. And then Will Smith drank the Xenu juice. Will Smith hasn’t been the same since. So Will dropped by Ellen’s yesterday to promote Hancock – did you watch? Sigh. Made me sad. Once upon a time, Will Smith wasn’t so… contrived. Nowadays it’s like he’s taken a page from the GMD: totally rehearsed, pandering, maybe not so creepy, but also completely devoid of spontaneity. Full Story
Katie Holmes has learned a thing or two from her mentor Victoria Beckham. The GMD and KatE, along with their children, attended the LA Galaxy game on Saturday. As you can see, Katie came camera ready – just like Posh – in an adorable red tunic with a gold belt. She blended right in, non? Too bad her hair is straight outta Leave It To Beaver. Full Story
During their trip to NYC last weekend, Little Sci’s parents took her to a performance of Hairspray on Broadway and she loved it. Tom and KatE also told the show’s star Jenifer Lewis that Hairspray is actually Little Sci’s favourite video. Well of course it is! Hairspray is the Gayest Show on Earth! The GMD probably can’t get enough of it, and watching with his daughter is, like, the best bonus ever. Full Story
After fellating the MiniVan Majority on Oprah, the GMD is now focusing his attention on that old bat Barbara Walters who is currently pimping her memoirs in a new book called Audition. He appeared on The View yesterday via video to honour her, describing her as a "leading force for women not only in the newsroom but the world at large". Full Story
They caused a commotion last night that could only be rivalled by Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Needless to say, Tom and KatE were the last to arrive. Quick tangent: Blake Lively came just before them. Like… Blake Lively? Sit DOWN Blake Lively! Katie’s dress up close was spectacular. Entirely beaded, the colour just popped, and those shoes. Full Story
