Jessica Simpson Gossip
And tell your main ‘mo to grow some style. I’ve no doubt Ken Paves means well but his execution is for shit. Did you see Porny on The View yesterday? I couldn’t bear to look, I could only manage two minutes with the sound off. Some people can do animal print. On Jessica Simpson it should be outlawed forever. Full Story
Jessica Simpson’s show The Price of Beauty premieres tonight. She’s making the morning show rounds for a last promotional push. This red dress, it’s better than last week’s Letterman dress. The sleeves help. And it’s a better neckline. But that f-cking length. When it cuts her off below the knee. Full Story
Porny was so cute and casual and pretty yesterday at the airport. Click here for a refresher. However, as I noted at the end of that article: “But watch, tomorrow on the talk shows she’ll be back to what they make her: too old and too tacky. Full Story
Look at my Porny! From LA to NYC last night, dressed casually, not styled by the Paves, hair loose and almost natural, you see how pretty she is? And fresh? They make her up and trot her out and she’s easily in her mid 30s when in fact there’s a youthfulness about Jessica’s look that is criminally underappreciated. Full Story
There was a story floating around last week originated by People.com that Jeremy Renner was trying to ride up on Jessica Simpson last week at some party. Renner is now denying the report through People’s competition Us Weekly... Full Story
She was on Oprah yesterday promoting her new VH1 show The Price of Beauty. Filmed last year, Jessica Simpson travelled around the world on a beauty journey joined by her best friend CaCee Cobb and her main ‘mo and hair stylist Ken Paves. The purpose, I think, is/was to show how f-cked up our beauty standards have become and to celebrate the most enlightened beauty standards from other cultures and/or examine the damaging ones in the hopes that those practices can soon be weeded out. Full Story
Jessica Simpson is kicking off promotion for her new show Price of Beauty on VH1 premiering in March. Here she is on the cover of the March issue of Allure. Note how lovely she can look with proper styling. Note that with the direction of someone fashionable, Ken Paves is actually capable of making her look not cheap and tacky or soapy. Full Story
Best. Interview. EVER. Sure, he’s a vile pig. We’re at rehearsal right now for Olympic Morning, and I am laughing my ass off. Not because that mother-cker isn’t a sick bitch, but because it’s just another case of douche spew coming out of his mouth. Who else can entertain this way? Every time he speaks it’s gold. Full Story
Easy. Don’t panic. There’s no need to panic. Your emails, your anxiety, I totally get it. But unfortunately there is no reason to be alarmed. I say unfortunately because, unlike most of you, I totally want Jessica and Taylor Kitsch to be f-cking. Alas, they are not. The report originated in Star Magazine or some sh-t. Full Story
No, it’s not mature. No, my photo selection for this post isn’t helping. But this is a f-cking emergency. And we need immediate, drastic action even if it’s a little juvenile.Us Weekly... Full Story
Last week it was announced that my Porny would launch her own denim line, Jessica Simpson Jeans, or something. This decision was met with ... mild horror. Porny has a terrible jeans track record. Full Story
Sweet Jesus, Please Shiloh, no. My Porny has announced that she’s launching her own denim line. When you think Porny + Jeans, what comes to mind? Oh you know exactly what comes to mind. You’re looking at the pictures. It’s the High Waisted Horrors. From the Country Chili Cook-off, remember? January 25th marks the 1 year anniversary of the Country Chili Cook-off High Waisted Horror. Full Story
My Porny showed up at the Hollywood premiere of Extraordinary Measures last night. This is a terrible title. But whatever. As you can see, Porny has been working out. Feeling confident about her body, she went with black legging jeans and flirted with her camel toe. She also decided on upswept hair, courtesy Ken Paves, and a bombshell posehard attitude on the red carpet. Full Story
Jessica Simpson went out with friends last night and cranked up the full Porny. For those of you who are new to the site, now you know why that’s her name. Porny. She can’t help but look Porny. Not with those breasts. Jesus, those breasts. It’s obscene. How does it breathe? You could put a tv dinner tray on her rack and it wouldn’t move. Full Story
Oh well now they’re bumpin’ arts. You know this means love. Jessica Simpson has publicly acknowledged her relationship with Billy Corgan. Check it out – two photos posted on her Twitter showing them in studio together taken by a professional photographer. Full Story
I married an immature perv who considers Wedding Crashers and Old School the two finest films ever made. There’s a part in You’ve Got Mail when Tom Hanks tells Meg Ryan that everything in life can be related back to The Godfather, you remember? Well for Jacek, all of life’s problems can be solved by Wedding Crashers and/or Old School. Full Story
It’s another Ken Paves soap opera creation – he and his most high profile client Jessica Simpson were shot leaving his salon last night after spending hours inside working on a new ‘do. Blonde curly mall waves. Mall waves weave? Probably not a bad bed. You know they sell them... Full Story
Please. You know it was coming. There’s a special place in my heart for Jessica Simpson. She isn’t evil inside like Ebola Hilton. Porny’s issues stem from her father’s f-ckery, and the lack of true friendship and brain mass. But she’s not ill intentioned. There is genuine affection here. Full Story
Been saying it forever: when she’s stripped down of all her tacky ass stylings, Jessica Simpson is so much more attractive. She has great skin, she looks so much younger, she is SO pretty. Especially with a winter flush. See? Jess is in New York with her mom to visit her sister Ashlee and will presumably be spending the holidays there as Ashlee’s run in Chicago goes until February. Full Story
But what about Chris Martin? Star Magazine photo assumed the dumbest story last week about Jessica Simpson dealing with Tiger Woods suggesting they had an affair. Simpson immediately denied the report and according to Gossip Cop... Full Story
