Paris Hilton Gossip
It’s a day late but since I don’t post on weekends, pretend it’s June 8th and play along. Do you remember what happened a year ago? Do you remember the happiest, smuttiest, best day ever??? Do you remember laughing at your desk? Running with joy down the halls? High fiving your colleagues? It was a Friday, I think. Full Story
Vin Diesel has a girlfriend?!? Vin Diesel had a baby?!? Even more shocking… there are people who actually STILL care? Amazingly enough, yes…though these days it’s fewer and fewer. This is why he has to make yet another Fast and Furious movie. But if Ebola Paris Hilton can have fans, I suppose Vin Diesel can have fans too. Full Story
We asked…and we received. Hollywood was buzzing this morning after photos surfaced of Ebola Paris Hilton wearing a little bump after dinner last night. Given that she has been hellbent on spawning her disease, pregnancy speculation spread far and wide, not unlike her legs. A sigh of relief. Ebola’s rep has denied... Full Story
Remember, this piece of sh*t never takes a picture without a purpose. So even if she isn’t pregnant, she certainly wants you thinking she is. Because pregnancy is the new craze. Nine months of attention and then a huge spotlight on an innocent child that she would no doubt mold into a virus even more destructive than she is. Full Story
They say it’s for a movie role…but my smutty sense is tingling that it’s something more sinister. Smutty senses can be wrong. Let’s hope. This is Colin shooting a movie in Ireland, painfully thin. Look at his legs. Look how his eyes bulge. Suddenly I don’t want him for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Full Story
Seal your windows and protect your children… this is Ebola Paris Hilton leaving a medical centre yesterday. Rumour has it, she`s been desperate to conceive and is rather frustrated that it hasn`t happened yet. Yes. That f*cking disease is trying to procreate. The world is about to end. On a lighter note, Ebola is still at it with her fragrance enterprise and will be launching a new cologne later this year. Full Story
Prince played Coachella this weekend…how f&cking amazing is that??? The man is pure sex and talent. Love, love, love. Unfortunately his royal presence was contaminated by the arrival of that diseased skank Ebola Paris Hilton who showed up hand in hand with Benji Madden. And because Ebola’s infection has been spread far and wide, awkward avoidance was apparently the name of the game as Jared Leto was at Coachella too and the last time he saw her, he ended up putting his tongue in her mouth and killing his career forever... Full Story
Not that this will surprise you but just in case. You know that show she’s doing? The search for Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton’s new BFF? Well it’s not really real people who are being auditioned but actors. Real actors. Real actors on both coasts have been called to expose themselves to her infection to pretend to want to be friends with that filthy whore virus. Full Story
Am sure you’ve all seen it – this clip of a rhythmically impaired Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton trying to belly dance on Turkish television – as is the case whenever she attempts to groove, Paris is found to be seriously lacking. Full Story
So Benji Madden and Ebola are now supposedly an item. This less than two weeks after he broke off his engagement with Sophie Monk. The much better looking Sophie Monk. And for those who say looks aren’t everything – are you going to tell me that diseased virus Paris Hilton has a better personality than Sophie Monk? Really??? But clearly… clearly this makes more sense. Full Story
This is what happens when your mother is more interested in pimping you than she is in raising you. Not only do you become a drug addict, so used and loose at only 21 that even the p*ssy posse wants nothing to do with you wants nothing to do with you... Full Story
Nicole Richie went shopping yesterday for party – Joel is turning 29. Note the pretty “H” necklace she’s wearing… love the name Harlow. Also like Winter. And love love love her angel wing headscarf. Did you know that pictures of Nicole fetch more than Ebola? Word is Paris was initially not pleased when she learned of this but then decided to use the disparity to her advantage in a photo opp of her own. Full Story
You like that show? My Name is Earl? If so, look out. Because it’s about to become a lot more diseased. Just confirmed – Hollywood Ebola will play herself in the season return in April. Perhaps the writers will be clever and subversively nail her ass to the wall like she deserves. Perhaps she’ll be too dumb to understand the true intent behind the script. Full Story
Not that there was any doubt but there are always one or two random losers… one or two who probably believed yesterday that Ebola’s little public excursion at the weekend with a shaman represented a genuine metamorphosis from virus to redeemable human. Wrong. Paris Hilton will always be a disease. Full Story
She infected her own movie – only 20 people went to see it. And everything else has permanently stalled. As such, Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton is grasping at straws, desperately resorting to the lamest cockamamie schemes for attention. Last week, after dating for an hour, she and Benji Madden professed their sudden, undying love. Full Story
Tara Reid hit up Villa last night – how on earth did she get in??? How on earth did she get in with that face? As you can see, Tara’s Stroke Face is droopier than ever. Doesn’t hurt that she’s been on a bender since well before Chinese New Year – from London to LA, this is the life when you can’t get work. Full Story
Dear Gossips,
Up until recently, for me it’s always been Ellen > Oprah. Always. But at the very, very least, the Mighty Opes doesn’t invite Ebola on to her stage and expose her flock to infection. As such, Oprah’s lambs have been spared the evil emanating from Paris Hilton’s black hole vagina.
Elle Degeneres’s audience, however, has not been so fortunate.
Time and again, Ellen brings back that skank twat disease. And time and again, instead of spitting on it, she’s actually nice to it. Very nice. Too nice.
WTF? Does Ellen actually need Paris Hilton for ratings???
That would be no.
Ellen had Ebola on her show again this week and simpered through the entire interview, even when Ebola mentioned she was abusing and neglecting 17 dogs in addition to the cats and various other animals that have suffered the misfortune of being adopted into her home.
Revolting. And sad. Because now Ellen Degeneres is officially infected. Ellen is done.
Was stuck in dress fitting hell yesterday but it’s finally Friday! Am blogging all day – check back often. Have a great weekend!
Yours in gossip,
Lainey
PS. Jonathan Rhys Meyers is not having help issues. Kate Bosworth hasn’t been blowing away the pain. Lately. And Eric Bana’s wife is not a lesbian.
Her virus does not discriminate! It will take down even her own family members! TMZ.com broke the story – Ebola Paris Hilton’s little brother Barron was arrested for DUI this morning at 8:30am in Malibu. Another Hilton attempts vehicular homicide. Brilliant. Barron Hilton is 18. If memory serves, the legal drinking age in the United States is 21. Full Story
Am sorry to say but Lindsay Lohan is officially ugly. And this isn’t calling someone ugly first thing on a Sunday, or when they’re wearing their glasses walking the dog with eye snot in the morning. This is Lindsay Lohan in a very cute outfit yesterday, shopping at Bristol Farms. She KNEW she was going to get photographed. Full Story
Please welcome John Mayer onto the Freebie Five. Not because he was the hotness on stage with Alicia Keys at the Grammys, even though he did indeed fire up the loins the way he grooved to the beat with his hair and his pants (click here for the clip... Full Story
