Prince Harry Gossip
And dancing. And falling. But not together. Oh la. Hot Harry spent the weekend in Barbados on official royal duty. He visited hospitals, made the children laugh, played polo, fell off his horse, and boogied down at a fundraiser. In his prim and proper khakis. It’ll be the best minute and a half of your morning. Full Story
At dinner with my cousin Cat last night – two grown women well into our thirties and when the subject of David Beckham came up, still we had to squeal. And she’s not really the type. But on pure physical loin-pounding quiveration…seriously, who’s hotter than Becks? And what’s hotter than Becks protecting his property – also his wife’s privates – as she descended from their car the other night. Full Story
Victoria Beckham doing a Hello Kitty smile!!! Love, love, love. For those of you unfamiliar with Hello Kitty Asian culture – for some reason, my homeland people (the girls in particular) can’t pull off a full frontal grin without hunching forward and throwing their hands straight up in front of their faces like all cutesy cutesy stick a needle in your eyeball. Full Story
As reported in yesterday’s column, after her silent admission that David did indeed goose Rebecca Loos and that she chose to tough through it, am now more convinced that ever that Posh will never let him go. The Beckhams are for life, perhaps not out of passion but certainly out of pragmatism. Full Story
My summer girl… my Chelsea in London partying at Mahiki. Well of course she was partying at Mahiki – she’s 21 and Mahiki only works for 23 and under. Big boobs, skinny legs, blonde and tan…like Pam Anderson but super rich. An heiress. With connections good enough for a Hot Harry on a Horse and bred to be able to swallow his royal indiscretions… Love. Full Story
Much of a prick as he is, Justin Timberlake, in terms of talent and prestige, was certainly a tough act to follow. Pip is super A list, absolutely. But after a brief dalliance with that mindfreak loser, Cam like Gisele is finally dating up, hopefully recognising her own super elite status and choosing accordingly. Full Story
Would give anything to look this good at a work out. Madge heading to the gym today in London complete with blackberry and phone, in her track suit and the sweetest leather jacket. Am also coveting the shoes. All pales in comparison however to the tits. Pushing fifty and still rather bouncy…and up close her skin looks pretty good too. Full Story
They all believe their own bullshit. What’s amazing about Victoria is that as ludicrous as it is, her version of the truth, somehow she manages to keep a straight face…as is the case with her concrete tits. Not only does she claim they’re authentic, she also insists they measure only 32B. Full Story
Dear Gossips,
You know it’s a slow week when every frickin’ detail of Eva Longoria’s pre-wedding prep has been documented with meticulous attention.
Am headed to Calgary for one day on Sunday shooting for eTalk. Hopefully will be able to enjoy some Stampede festivities and perhaps pop in to the infamous Cowboys? Where Hot Harry on a Horse dabbled in some Canadian low classy? Would love to do a shot of tequila off a set of fake tits purchased for staff by the establishment’s generous owners. Word is, during Stampede, the girls who work it the hardest can earn up to ten grand a night. A NIGHT??? I scoffed at first but I suppose preying on the horny and rich can be a lucrative business.
Finally Friday, am online all day, refresh often.
Have a great weekend!
Yours in gossip,
Lainey
In the new issue of Hello Canada, several photos not widely circulated from the Concert for Diana last Sunday. For the first time in a long time, I actually find William attractive. Even his dorky dancing. Some say he was only goofing around – whatever he was doing, he looked like he was having a good time, genuinely enjoying himself, not constipated and boring…not quite quiverating, certainly not even close to the Hotness on Horse, but not entirely unsexy either. Full Story
This will be a hot one so please read details closely? Don"t mean to be a pickle ass but I want you to win which means I want to make sure your entry is received. Please forgive? OK so about Becks... As you all know, David Beckham is coming to America and thanks to Motorola, I have one personalised soccer jersey signed by Becks himself to give away to a lucky LaineyGossip. Full Story
They are young yet and marriage is nowhere near a reality but my new favourite Chelsy Davy has clearly been bred for the position should the opportunity present itself. At the tender age of 21, Chelsy is already adept at the turn and swallow – not a porn move but a privilege move, the move so many other society ladies before her have perfected: the art of overlooking infidelity and embarrassment and keeping one’s eye on the big picture… A Royal Title. Full Story
Many concur: it was a kneejerk reaction, a decision based on emotion, a decision made prematurely, and a decision he is supposedly regretting more every day, though with a stiff upper lip he will gamely honour his promise. David Beckham, on the eve of his move to America, in London yesterday at the Concert for Diana to introduce Take That, was greeted with one of the loudest receptions of the evening – a bittersweet moment for a man who will be calling Los Angeles home for the next long while. Full Story
In all fairness, his beaver bucks weren’t quite so beaver bucky yesterday...but then another dorky problem reared its dorky head and that would be the Rhythm Issue. Is there anything unsexier than a dude who can’t dance? And tries to? His brother knows. The Hotness on a Horse who can hang a pair of pants…Harry knows. Full Story
I don’t think so but Karen L and I were debating it the other night at the Sanderson Hotel. She says yes, I say no…You? Here’s Chelsy arriving at Heathrow yesterday, likely joining Hot Harry on a Horse at the Concert for Diana on Sunday. Girl can fill out a pair of jeans, that’s for sure. Full Story
We spent most of the day at Mahiki yesterday on a shoot. Sound familiar? Mahiki is the club where the Princes go - William and Harry and their friends. On a few occasions, the two have even been photographed leaving there looking flushed and rather inebriated.
So now perhaps you have a vision in your mind of what it"s like: up to royal standard, swank, chic...
Hella no.
Mahiki is hilarious. Mahiki is tiki. Mahiki is wicker furniture and tacky ass tropical decor and the most ridiculous drinks presented in large ceramics shaped like volcanos and jungle masks with flames coming out the top licking the liquid off the side.
Hilarious. And even more hilarious the clientele - private school boys all of them. With their pinstiped shirts tucked into low rise jeans and flopsy "Hugh Grant" hairstyles drunk of their own sense of entitlement surrounded by young girls trying to land their very own Eton boy.
Love it.
Sadly however...Hot Harry didn"t ride up on his horse. Maybe tonight.
It"s Tuesday - a thousand apologies. We have a shoot booked in Paris, have to hop on Eurostar at 8am local time, working all day with eTalk, then returning to London in the evening. Will not be able to post.
But just for today. Wednesday will be online all day, blogging all day. At least until the afternoon. First day of Harvey Nic"s sale... you understand.
Besides, that piece of scuzz virus gets out today. I"m thinking it"s the only thing you"ll hear about.
Sorry again. Will be back Wednesday with long, long column. Thank you for your understanding. Please please please forgive.
Yours in gossip,
Lainey
Dear Gossips,
Always love waking up on a Monday to find fresh photos of David Beckham frolicking with men. Might have to top him back to #1 on the Freebie Five after Rocky’s reign – everybody loves a winner, non? in this case however, it has less to do with Real Madrid’s victory yesterday than with my dream. Yet another dream. And not a pervy one.
British men are on the mind, especially Hot Harry on Horse and Matt Lauer’s exclusive interview with the Princes airing today. Every clip of Harry is the super hotness, due in no small part to the fact that he likes to walk around with both hands clasped around his belt buckle. Hate to sound like one of those middle aged women swooning in a peeler bar but with a move so highly suggestive, it’s hard not to stare at the royal “region”. And then hearing his voice – his deep deep manly voice that sounds a bit like sleep, like groggy sleep after a sexy evening, it confirms the contention that the Spare brings way more quiver than the Heir. I mean seriously…the boy is FOINE. Everything about him – from the way he walks, to his pants, to the back of his neck. Watch tonight, you’ll see.
And so in my dream, David and I were driving around London in a Maserati. I can see it vividly – David changing gears, hands and feet in perfect rhythm, shades on in the middle of the night, dressed in a white tee shirt tucked into dirty jeans, triceps popping out every time he shifted to second and third…absolute loin candy with one major exception. When he turned to ask me what I wanted on my pizza – “Lainey (long and soft on the “Lai”), fancy a veggie or a meat lovers?” – it wasn’t the rat lizard voice that slithered out like a bucket of cold water but Harry’s posh drawl… like a Hot Harry Hybrid, a perfect man-boy combination.
As such, full on Beckham overload this morning…apologies in advance.
It’s Monday, online all day, check back often.
Yours in gossip,
Lainey
PS. Roots Bag winner has been contact – thanks for all your entries! More giveaways to come…
I went for a walk with the dog yesterday through the forest. My legs haven’t been shaved in 3 days, I have two zits on my chin that I can’t stop picking, and wore the wrong underwear so I had to keep picking my wedge. However, I am not shooting a reality tv show. Leaving her hotel this afternoon for a “walk” in the park, trailed by cameras for her one hour special, here’s Victoria dressed for the occasion. Full Story
Love it. From six episodes to a one hour special, Victoria’s America television debut will be called Victoria Beckham: Coming to America – 50 or so minutes of Victoria rehearsing her candid moments with makeup on the entire time which I will totally watch, even though a bit disappointed. Full Story
Harry on the cover of this week’s Hello Canada - article discussing what’s become a “PR disaster” for the royal family and how his escapades with the Cowboy bimbos in Calgary will affect the concert and his relationship with his family. Quick note on the Cowboys issue – I was apparently remiss in saying it was just like Hooters yesterday. Full Story
